At the pool
the other day I watched my 10 year-old daughter hang out with her peers. After
observing for five minutes this amateur sociologist noticed an alpha girl, and the
rest could easily be labeled into characters from the 1985 iconic movie, The Breakfast
Club. What amazed me was how quickly such typecasts unfolded.
Yes, labels
exist. Even if we wish they did not. It’s human nature to organize, to
recognize patterns. Why else would so many people be interested in taking those
descriptive quizzes, like “What Force of Nature are You? What Type of Parent
are You? What Mineral are You? What is Your Old Person Name?”* Are
we so unsure of ourselves that we seek validation? A sense of belonging?
Curiosity? Amusement?
In 1943 William
Foote Whyte’s Street Corner Society was published, a classic in field
research canvassing the social structure of Boston’s Italian North End. I read
that book in graduate school, and to this day, I could put my feet in his shoes.
But instead of observing immigrants in the poor section of town I would rather
write about the phenomenon in the surrounding suburbs-- the patterns surfacing
with middle-aged women. While I would guess that most of my friends, and I
included, would assert we have high confidence levels, feel good about life
decisions made, and have nothing to prove-- still, a natural grouping, a classification
reveals—of each other, by us. At our age Breakfast
Club-esque labeling occurs, and while I’m not saying it is right, just like
in high school, certain patterns emerge.
From my corner
I see these following 40-Something Women in the Brunch Club, (because, let’s
face it, we’d rather attend a meal with mimosas and Bloody Marys):
1. The Triathlete:
Maybe she does not compete in three sports, but she belongs to the faction of
fitness buffs who pride themselves on keeping in shape.
2. The Volunteer:
The woman who somehow has the energy and time to devote to tons of committees.
3. The Organic Health-Food Nut: She walks around sipping a green smoothie combining kale,
chia seeds, and blueberry.
4. The Has-It-All:
She has a good-looking spouse, wonderfully behaved children, and a posse of
perfect friends.
5. The Sports Mom:
She cheers the loudest on the field, constantly chauffeuring her kids to the
next practice, game, or match.
6. The Minivan Maven: She showers every other day, can’t find lipstick in her grimy cupholders,
and is fueled by coffee and wine.
7. The Anti-Establishment Chick: The one who vows to not be like any of the other groups of
women, so, in a sense, is in her own clique of Ally Sheedys.
**”Walk on by” is taken from Simple Minds’ Don’t You(Forget About Me), the theme
song from The Breakfast Club
