Photo Finish? A Real Race to Picture Popularity

Over Thanksgiving my family spent some peaceful time in Cape Cod. On a sunny yet frigid day I drove my boys to a beach to check out the late afternoon sun on the bay. Surprised, we were struck by the impressive beauty of the frozen sea foam creating an Arctic scene. Knowing that my 14 year-old daughter would love taking landscape pictures I called my husband to drive her to the same spot.

My daughter loves taking photos, and I wholeheartedly encourage this passion. Immediately I could sense her excitement—she started clicking, standing on ice, kneeling, trying to capture the best possible angles. Granted, she was wearing Birkenstocks unlike the polar expedition attire I wore. When she lost her sandal somewhere in icy slush she didn’t even tell me…determined to find it. I saw her gloveless hands digging, searching, when I realized what happened. Going after the ideal photo and lost in the moment she did not think about possibly losing the sandal. I told her to get to the car and put on the heat. She needed to defrost. And while the sun set I started poking the frosty surf, muttering under my breath at the moment’s absurdity.

I thought—how far would she go for a photo?

Hello, perspective…recently my newsfeed highlighted an article about senseless deaths from people going much farther than my daughter to snap the enviable pic: a culture of extremes for social media fame. People literally sitting on the edge of skyscrapers for Instagram popularity. Hiking scary cliffs. Taking a selfie with a bear. The adrenaline achieved plus the likes and follower tallies fuel even the average person to take high risks and make questionable decisions.

Now I fully realize that my daughter’s shutterbug quest isn’t the same as posing next to an erupting volcano—but I wonder: how far will people go in potentially harmful situations? And as  parents…do we understand the intense social pressures that stir these extreme choices? And I don’t mean for just photography--sake, I mean in life. For 13 years total I will parent teenagers, (calculating until my youngest will be 19), and merely at the cusp now I wonder if my nerves can hack it. I worry about my kids’ safety. And my fortitude. This when my kids haven’t pushed the limits. Yet.

Researching risky teen behavior I found that the most profound influence is, surprise, their peers. That teen brains are wired to focus on their friends, seek peer rewards, and long to be included. And the brain’s lateral prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for mature self-regulation, develops gradually during adolescence. 

So how far will kids go? How much effort will we make to literally peer into our teens’ own lenses to understand their motivations and decisions? As I continue this journey with the sacred sisterhood of cherished mom friends, I can only hope to glean some insights before our kids—or us—literally snap.

And if you’re wondering what happened to my daughter’s Birkenstock…I determinedly plowed through that Cape Cod Bay slush, and with frozen fingers extracted her sandal.

Photo Extremes article in Fast Company

Teens and Risk Taking article in Psychology Today