Best in Show?

 
A month ago one of my kids had an English assignment—change simple descriptive sentences in a way that you show, not tell. For example, “The old house needed repairs” could be adapted to, “I walked through the ripped screen door and then tripped on the broken tiles in the musty entryway.” Showing and not telling is a simple lesson to grip the reader more creatively, to make writing more memorable. Just think about the power of being more vivid and action-oriented. Remember a preschool kids’ joy during show and tell days? I do--six years ago my son, Scottie, told his class about our new puppy, but how much more exciting was it when I brought fluffy 15 week-old Olive for him to show his friends?

As a mom of four I frequently feel like my voice is ignored, especially as the kids get older. And if I raise my voice it sounds like I’m upset, or I’m nagging, or I’m preaching—and of course they tune me out. Even with the many “I love yous” I wonder if the kids actually hear me. Do they feel the love?

Which got me to thinking…

What if I did less telling and more showing—would I be more impactful? Would we all?

I’m sure you can think of the relative or friend who started to sound empty with their echo-like refrains—without backed-up actions—and maybe you started to ignore them and take them less seriously. Or their credibility faltered. Or their flimsy praises and promises became that in your mind—and you started gravitating towards people whose actions spoke louder than words. How much more real and valued those relationships feel.

But it’s not just about expressing love and maintaining relationships.

During this pandemic I’ve found it difficult to motivate my kids to be active. I worry about the time spent binge-watching shows, the endless rounds of Rocket League, and too much Minecraft. I am no screenless saint, but lately I’ve been trying to motivate myself to set a good example. How can I tell them to do something if I’m wasting away my days? So internally I made a choice: I’d show them and make more effort. By exercising every day, reducing my alcohol intake, taking a class, and even starting to write again…will I show my kids enough that they see my actions as examples that will inspire them? I’m not sure. I can only hope that they will be influenced in a positive way.

What I do realize—as most of us may—is that people do watch our behaviors as proof. Even though I preach that “words matter,” I am thinking that my parenting may shift to a “best in show” mode…that I will do less telling, and instead, figure out actions that will mean more. If anything, we all can reflect and put our own lives through that English homework assignment…and see if showing vs. telling will be more powerful and memorable.