Deadheading: Not Just for Flowers

Three weeks ago I deadheaded my sangria daisies, and I am shocked that even with the cooler October weather new blooms emerged to brighten my landscaping.  I love those flowers—and not just for the name.

Also around that same time I kept looking in the mirror at my dead head…my broken, dried hair...and thought—do I have the guts to just chop off my lack-lustrous locks? I haven’t had shorter hair in decades.  Just like Sally Field’s character M’Lynn worried in the 1989 movie Steel Magnolias—I agonized whether my hair would end up looking like a helmet.  Or I’d get that dreaded “Mom cut,” which would certainly age me.

How much do we worry about hair at midlife?  Men going bald?  Women dealing with thinning hair? 

I’ve been “blessed” with fine, straight locks my entire life, (hope you read the sarcasm in that statement)…and for the last five years have been dealing with thyroid issues, which has negatively affected my hair.  Sometimes I find my eyes scanning the crowds—admiring Irish and Indian women with their thick tresses. And then on the opposite side of the spectrum I think of my adult friends with alopecia who’ve completely lost their hair, and my heart goes out to them.

It’s inevitable that this visible, physical transformation occurs—unless you’re Sofia Vergara with her amazing mane.  No denying it—as we get older our hair does change.  It turns gray, alters in texture, and loses some of its elasticity.  And our hair surrounds a facial structure which also ages--our facial bones, including our eye sockets, nose and upper jaw, continue to morph.  Should our hairstyle be an accessory to this mature face?

Are there other mid-life people who fear changing hairstyles?  How attached are we?  I have some friends who boldly alter their persona with crazy color and frequent cuts, and I have others who haven’t changed their styles, (like me), for years.  Is it an emotional tie?  Our hair being a key to our personality?  A refusal to accept that our hair should change as we get older? 

I’m not sure we have to modernize our hair as we age, and I am not convinced that a haircut is timeless and can last for decades on our transforming faces.  I know I personally had to make a literal head vs. heart decision to cut my hair, and honestly, I’m still getting used to my mirror’s reflection. 

If you’re at your “split ends” with what to do with your aging hair I suggest asking for honest opinions from your friends and trusting an experienced stylist who will take into account your hair’s texture and facial structure before deciding the best length and cut.  Maybe it’s time for a fresh new style—or a simple enhancement of what you currently sport.  I never thought those daisies would spring forth additional life this late in the growing season…and maybe, just maybe…my own chopping will yield a brand new look—and outlook—of my own. 

 

I’d love to hear about your relationship with your hair as you’re getting older.  Please comment and share your thoughts.

 

If you’re interested in checking out hairstyles for different age groups:

http://www.redbookmag.com/beauty-fashion/celebrity-hairstyles/age-appropriate-hair#slide-1

Puppy Power--Teaching This Old Yeller New Tricks

I never really understood the appeal of dog movies. Beethoven? Couldn’t get over the slobber. Marley and Me? No interest in a misbehaving pooch. I figured—must be because I’m not inherently a dog person. I grew up with miniature schnauzers, but I’m not the type of person who would pet a friend’s dog. I get grossed out when someone takes a tennis ball out of a dog’s mouth to toss it. The adage of “Never trust a person who doesn’t like dogs,”--really? Who, me?

At this stage in life can a person change? Or can a dog be, (sorry for the pun), that cat-alyst?

Here’s an example. Continuing with the dog theme—I’m an old yeller. I am in awe of mothers who keep a calm tone, even after telling her kids to do something eight times. For me, for whatever reason, I can’t get my kids to motivate unless my voice escalates in pitch and volume. Which stresses me. It upsets the kids. Yelling, as any research can tell you, is not healthy. So last week I told myself—I would not raise my voice for an entire day. When I felt that annoyed energy rise up my throat I took deep breaths, walked into another room, and reminded myself of my promise. The kicker was that during dinner my 6 year-old said that the best part of his day was that I didn’t yell. That stung. Wow, even he noticed.

Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks?

And maybe a young dog can totally transform you.

Three weeks ago we welcomed a puppy into our home. On a pretty much impulsive whim we drove to Lancaster County and bought an adorable puppy from a sweet Amish family. That first night as I got up every two hours to take out Olive, and then cuddle her close, I felt like the Grinch--at the end of the book. Literally, I felt my heart expand in love for this furry little creature. My maternal instincts kicked in, and I fell for—yes, a DOG. Never before did I understand that bond. Now I get why people have bumper stickers expressing their canine camaraderie. Last week I drove through Philly, saw a beautiful park with the skyline as background, and thought, “Wow, I’d love to bring Olive here sometime.” What?!?! Who, me?

At the end of the classic 1957 movie the little puppy steals a steak and starts to resemble his dad, Old Yeller. That reminds me that I don’t want my kids emulating my temper when they’re adults. Maybe I can learn new tricks—I’m trying to keep my outbursts at bay. And maybe my puppy has taught me to be more patient and tender. Now I can’t wait to watch a pooch movie—maybe this weekend we’ll watch My Dog Skip—and I’ll tear up knowing how much Olive has already enriched our lives.

Home is where the bark is. Just less so with me—I’ll leave the woofs to my playful puppy.

 

 

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2012/11/27/why-are-we-yelling/1729357/

http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/tips/10-ways-to-stop-yelling/?page=1