So what happens when two of your children decide they’re
vegan and you feel slapped and stunted in the kitchen—family recipes suddenly
vaporized…(never again will they eat meatballs? Buttery split second cookies?
Pizzelles?) Almost two years ago my oldest decided to follow a vegan lifestyle—and
that includes honey, butter, eggs, and dairy. When my son followed suit I
prayed that it would just be a fad, and soon I’d be making caramel French toast
with a side of bacon again for holidays.
What do you do during mid-life if suddenly you HAVE to
make a lifestyle change you don’t want to?
Believe me, I’ve heard from friends like—“Just make them eat
steak. Serve it every day, and they’ll eat if they’re hungry.” Or “Tell them
they can be vegan when they move out of the house.” I don’t know if it’s my
parenting or what—but when it comes to eating, I feel like I can’t force food
down the throats of strong-willed almost-adults. So what did I do?
We saw a local nutritionist. I consulted my cousin who has
her masters in nutrition. I devoured countless texts to learn more. I embraced
the change and challenge, and would even cheer, “Plant power!” when I served a yummy
veggie soup. They would roll their eyes and gratefully slurp from their bowls. I
learned that a plant-based diet is healthy. It’s MUCH better for the
environment. And as I was cooking for them, (as well as for my younger two who
don’t like vegetables), I started gravitating towards the plant options. And I
started feeling healthier—with more energy, better sleep, and less bloat. Maybe
there’s a reason Venus Williams is a vegan, I thought when I’d step on the
tennis court.
Admittedly, I’m not a vegan. But I now put oat milk in my coffee
and rarely eat meat. I’m more conscious of what my family consumes. I don’t cook
bacon anymore—even my youngest has sworn off pork because he loves pigs. Every
meal has tons of vegetables, nuts, beans, and fruit. So I know we all are
eating better.
But here’s the kicker—this is what I learned about adapting
to change that I did not want. It’s difficult, and at some moments it’s been emotional—from
feeling like I lost an important part of my traditions and what’s core to who I
am, to feeling frustrated that I have to make essentially two meals every night,
to exasperation wondering if the effort is worth it. I know that even me,
someone who used to make some damn delicious foods, can evolve. And why?
Because of the love for my kids. For them to know I support them. To encourage
a healthy lifestyle for this family. And if I can make these changes regarding
an important part of daily living—eating and cooking—then, truly, it gives me hope
for the flexibility of others. We all can adapt in life. I learned that when
making the choice to go with the flow, there’s less fight, struggle, and
stress.
When one is forced to change, educate yourself as much as
possible. Connect with others in similar situations. And focus on the intention
of why. Those guideposts will nourish you and give you inspiration to move
forward. We’re not all as firmly “planted” in our ways as we may think.
Recommended learning:
The Omnivore’s Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals
by Michael Pollen
The China Study by T. Colin Campbell
The film “Forks Over Knives”
Follow “avantgardevegan” on Instagram
