A Call for More Ball Bearings in Life

“I refuse to flip the numbers,” said one opponent. Her partner agreed. “We never touch the numbers because we always know the score.” This exchange happened at the start of my tennis match a few weeks ago. For those who don’t play, the common practice is to flip a scorecard after every odd game to keep track of the match—so no one disagrees with the final score. Believe me, at my age—and I play with some women decades older—it’s easy to lose track of the score. Reminders help. Which is why my partner and I were surprised.

My response? “I don’t get it. The scorecard is there so everyone agrees. It reduces the possibility of friction.” To which the one very focused woman replied, “If you don’t like friction, then you’re playing the wrong sport.”

Which made me laugh. Because while I love tennis, I don’t like pissing bouts about the score. Or line calls. Or anything that should be obvious. I wondered if they were playing some mental mind game with us…which must have worked because 1.) they won, 2.) I’m still thinking about it.

Those women got under my skin. Why perpetuate senseless friction when it can be easily avoided? Isn’t that wasted, misdirected, negative energy?

I just finished Walter Isaacson’s biography of the genius work and thinking of Leonardo da Vinci. Beyond being fascinated by countless lessons learned from his works and process…one observation stuck out: “What prevents perpetual motion, Leonardo realized, is the inevitable loss of momentum in a system when it rubs against reality. Friction causes energy to be lost and prevents motion from being perpetual.” His discovery of using lubrication and ball bearings to reduce friction was 300 years ahead of his time.

And as many remember from the famed 1985 movie Fletch, Chevy Chase’s character Gordon Liddy said, “Aww, come on guys, it’s so simple maybe you need a refresher course. It’s all ball bearings nowadays.”  

It’s 2019, and I wish there were less friction to allow for constant motion—and progress and peace—whether that means in relationships, business, education, politics, even down to the chronic sibling fights battled in my house. As da Vinci’s creative mind posited, with friction, energy is lost.

What gets in the way? I know some personality types thrive with drama. Maybe that’s it. Some people’s egos create insulated bubbles. Some folks build walls. Some lack the patience and compassion. Instead of being an obstacle…why not focus on using positive actions/thoughts/help, which would only energize others and continue their momentum? Wouldn’t the world be better?

Yes, sometimes friction creates an essential spark, but not all situations need conflict. Isn’t life “flipping” tough enough at times? Just like Chevy Chase’s mechanic Liddy, (novelty teeth optional), we can be pseudo-repairmen and be aware of easy ways to smooth pointless stickiness. I wish that more people would be aware of the energy erosion jam and be more mindful of adding figurative ball bearings to life. It really is “so simple.”

Gut-sy Girl Confessions: 5 Steps to a Healthier You

Five years ago I took a keen interest in my physical health…reeling from symptoms of debilitating foot pain, brain fog, hair loss, joint pain, and extreme lethargy. Thankfully a podiatrist (of all specialists!?!) said I probably had an autoimmune issue and advised to get my thyroid checked. That led to a series of doctor visits, ultimately a Hashimotos diagnosis, and a come to Jesus realization that diet affects physical and mental health. So with tears, I gave up gluten and mostly dairy and sugar. I saw a holistic practitioner whom I still see today—and she recommended probiotics and supplements. After 3 months my symptoms went away, and I’ve been a believer ever since. That gut health revolution has put me on a path, (I hope), to long lasting wellness. And I want my friends and family to feel their best…which is why I’m sharing my story.

Yet last year I took the gut focus even farther. I resolved to make a concerted effort to listen to my gut, dig deep into maybe what you would call the bowels of my conscious soul, to make every decision. From friendships, to whether to go out on a cold Friday evening, to seeking work opportunities, to signing up my kids for activities. And the result? It’s been a damn good year.

Which makes me wonder…why go against your gut…EVER?

I wish I knew then what I know now. That there is beauty with getting older and the wisdom associated with it. If we all know more about physical and mental health…and the link to our guts…why don’t more people take care of themselves and improve? Is it denial? Lack of knowledge? Inertia?

Continuing my learning quest I recently read the book Liver Rescue seeking answers to teen acne and kid high blood pressure—with an ever-open eye to Hashis. I discovered even more changes to make. That if we take better care of our livers then many health problems could be fixed: diabetes, gout, acne, autoimmune diseases, to name a few. So in lieu of making drastic changes like buying crates of celery to juice every morning, (and I may get there at some point), I took easy, ahem, digestible, steps. Like drinking a pint of lemon water at the start and end of my day. Eating more apples and less meat.

For these past 5 weeks I've felt the best in seriously I don’t know when. And everyone can make incremental changes…like slicing a lemon, squeezing it into water, and chugging it at least twice a day.

I’m not looking for a pat on the back or smug reactions—my hope is that my kids and those I love and care about take a look inward and:

1. take time to know yourself, your priorities, and your health
2. learn as much as you can about the gut and liver
3. make even small diet changes that will undoubtedly make you feel better
4. listen to your intuition and make decisions that feel right
5. be good to yourself

We have a lot of life yet to live. It’s never too late to treat yourself well. Is it coincidence that gut means “well” in German?

Books I recommend if you’re interested in learning more:

Wheat Belly by William Davis

Medical Medium by Anthony William

Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis by Izabella Wentz

A Mind of Your Own by Kelly Brogan, MD

Adrenal Fatigue by James L. Wilson

Sugar Busters by H. Leighton Steward

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver

Liver Rescue by Anthony William

Empty is the New Full

I’m ready to spend the rest of winter hibernating under a blanket next to a mug of steaming coffee and a book. With only so much free time…or maybe that’s so little…I resist the lure of indefinite titles of TV shows to binge watch…opting for the quieter option of reading. Since watching Coach Taylor and other memorable characters on Friday Night Lights a few years ago I haven’t been inspired to watch another series…(I welcome your recommendations).

One Netflix show—Marie Kondo’s series about tidying up—has been in the spotlight. Yet I don’t have the desire to sit on my couch while watching someone else purge when I know that my garage, bedroom, and basement need a full-time consultant to help rid my house of joyless clutter.

Last week I talked to my good friend who recently moved into her new home. They sold most of their furniture before crossing 5 states, so her voice echoed while walking through her living room. I suggested taking photos of the open space. To take it in. Enjoy the vast room and possibilities. To savor that freedom to acquire at leisure. Over the course of time and the natural need to have a sofa and other furniture—the house will fill up.

For our wellness we all can concentrate on “clearing house” versus just donating unused things. We can choose mind over matter. Like, literally….choose a clear mind and focus on simplifying thoughts and energy vs. time spent on purging actual objects.

There is value to feeling empty. To be able to breathe deeply. To reflect how you’d like to fill it. If you’re so stuffed…how can anything new fit in? It’s uncomfortable and unhealthy.

From my own perspective I have noticed my personal habits change. From working at an aggressive pace every day and going out nightly as a twentysomething. To having a schedule so full with ink that somehow I got through it all. Thrived on it, actually. To my thirties balancing playdates with constant diaper changes and tossing in a part-time job. To now…how choked I feel if I don’t build in that space. A natural buffer. How stressed I feel when the candle burns on 6 ends. I gravitate towards the pull to just be—reading, writing, spending time outside…

In getting older--do you need more quiet? More space? More free time?

If seeing posts about cleaning out stuff exhausts you—if that isn’t you or your priority—then I suggest looking inward. You can get your fill out of emptying your schedule, clearing your head, saying no to commitments, and crafting time for yourself. Emptiness allows time to breathe, to get hungry, to quietly reflect, and to appreciate the space. By allowing yourself breaks you open yourself up to other ways to feed and fuel your soul. As Coach Taylor cheered with his team on my favorite TV show—“Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.” Free your mind and enjoy the fullness of that emptiness.