“Sugar and spice
and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of.”
Sure, we’ve
all heard the above nursery rhyme. If I had to say, in food terms, what I’m
made of I immediately think of pizza, ice cream, wine, and grilled cheese with
bacon. Much of my identity revolves around food—meeting up with friends for
coffee, planning menus when entertaining, and feeling the joy of cooking for
others. I’m one of those people who lives to eat, not eats to live.
But what if you have to
cut out sugar and pretty much all foods you love? Then what’s left?
This fall I’ve
been battling a flare up with my autoimmune disease, Hashimoto's. So I started
researching nutritional ways to make me feel better. Feeling desperate I
decided to try an autoimmune protocol (AIP) diet. Following the guidelines
means consuming organic protein and vegetables. No dairy. No gluten. No sugar. Not
even tomatoes or eggs.
This is not
a post about my health or to catapult me into martyrdom--it is about the
transformation and observation of feeling the loss of identity at this point in
life.
Others who
change jobs, divorce, get sick, quit working to be a stay-at-home parent, get
injured and can’t play their sport, retire —this life alteration is what I’m
referring to. The time when a large part of your life-- and maybe your defining
characteristics-- are finished.
How do you adjust to
the new you?
In
O Magazine Martha Beck writes, “Any
transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not
just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on
metamorphosis.” She goes on to say, “Don't attribute your happiness to your new
identity; security lies in knowing how to deal with metamorphosis, whenever it
occurs.”
So
I started dealing with these restrictive changes, accepting the adjustments…until
one afternoon I simply craved a chocolate chip cookie. I decided to bake some
gluten free version, (the prepared mix contained no sugar—so how tasty could
they really be). My daughter said they looked like taco meat. My husband said
they smelled like dog biscuits. And me? They truly did not satisfy on any
level.
Admittedly
the cookie experiment left me a little glum. Who was I, if not donning an
apron and sharing in life’s delicacies with those I love?
Last
week still feeling a bit blue, I trudged to a Christmas event where a speaker talked
about the real meaning of the holiday. Regardless of any religious ties—what I
heard could give strength to anyone facing overwhelming times. The message I
heard: for times when your life expectations shatter, just focus on the constants--the
true, positive, reliable parts of your life that bring you peace and happiness.
That could mean faith, friends, enjoying the sound of your children’s laughter…
Sometimes
in life you can’t have your cake, (or cookie), and eat it, too. If you are
challenged by an identity change, seek supportive people who listen to you. And
do activities that bring you joy. Maybe cook up a new nursery rhyme for
yourself…and remember what you are
made of and stay strong.
For more information about how AIP
addresses inflammation in the gut read:
For the Martha Beck piece: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Strategies-to-Deal-With-Every-Phase-of-Major-Life-Changes#ixzz3KlrXvcKz
