A Heartfelt Thank You--To My Children

Dear Kids,

For all of the “please” and “thank you”s I nudge you to say to others, this is a chance to thank YOU for all that you bring to my life. I have been a mother for eleven and a half years, which sounds insignificant based on how much I value being your parent and the amount of energy I throw into being a mom. Feels like I have been your mother for decades, that I have known your spirits for my entire life.

As this is our thankful holiday week I’d like to express my gratitude to you…for:

·         The amount of pride I feel. For every time you take a risk and put yourself out there, I’m proud of you for taking chances. For learning. For achieving. For being good friends. For being compassionate. For being respectful of your teachers, coaches, and friends’ parents. I love watching you grow up as I see a glimmer of the adults you’re going to be.

·         The joy you bring into this home. The other day my three boys ran around the house, dressed in sunglasses and hats, quietly laughing while spying on me doing housework. I loved watching you be kids and enjoy the morning together. Or seeing my daughter’s face light up as she wrapped her friend’s birthday present, animatedly talking about the gifts she chose and why. I love the energy you all bring into this world.

·         The patience I had to learn. Being a mother isn’t easy. The arguments, the tears, the frustration, the worrying, the constant needs…I feel pulled in many directions, and I have realized that stressing about every incident only makes me unsettled. To save my sanity I know the importance of taking a step back, taking deep breaths, and trying to keep perspective of the bigger picture.

·         The emotions that make me feel alive. For every cornerkick, time you step on a starting block, wind up on the pitching mound, toss a second serve…my stomach fills with butterflies because I know how much you are trying and want to succeed…and I know that you have to rely on yourself and your own grit. I want your confidence to blossom, that I surrogately carry your feelings, and I’m riding right alongside you. Those highs and lows energize life.

·         The opportunity to teach. I love quizzing you on “Name that artist” when the car radio plays, teaching you favorite recipes, and showing you my love for appreciating new places. To me, there is a comfort knowing that my passions can be shared with the people I love the most, another generation, and that I even hope that some of our common interests will be passed down long after I’m gone.

·         Being able to help. You all are distinct individuals, all coming into your own personalities, and I am lucky to help you determine what interests you. Like The Giving Tree I want to give you the support you need until I’m a little stump in some assisted living facility.

·         Unconditionally loving me. I’m fully aware I’m not perfect, that sometimes you get angry or disagree with me, but in my heart I know our connection is strong, no matter what.

 

You all make my soul soar. You are my blessings who I powerfully want to protect forever, you are my perspective compass, you are my truest loves.

--Mom

You're Grounded...Or Are You?

Do you automatically plug your mobile phone in the charger when you get into your car? Feel an immediate panic if you forget your device at home when running errands? Guilty here. I let my gas tank fall well below a quarter, yet feel uneasy if my phone’s charge is less than 35%. It’s incredible how tethered we are to technology, yet we intrinsically know that separating ourselves is healthy, (as I type with my laptop warming my legs and my phone to my left).

How connected are you? And does checking whatever online pursuit make you happy? More stressed? Does it drain you?

Made me think how much truer to myself I feel when I separate myself from technology.

So when I read an article a month ago in Rodale Wellness about grounding I related to it. “Grounding” means connecting your body directly to Earth and experiencing the benefits of the electric fields. Manifested, grounding means walking barefoot in sand or letting your sockless feet feel natural elements like wood and grass. And if anyone knows me, I hate bare feet. I never even let my summer babies go sockless, fearing they would pick up germs, thinking they looked part-naked. But what if barefooting, a term just concocted, brings better health?

The article’s author, Dr. Steven Sinatra, writes about the healing impact that grounding has on blood viscosity, that when blood is thick it causes clots and inflammation. But when our body is connected to Mother Earth’s energy our red blood cells repel against each other and blood’s consistency is thinner, more like red wine, because it’s more oxygenated—which is healthier for our tissues and organs. So, in an effort to be more like red wine…

…I tried it.

On a cool October afternoon I actually went barefoot and stood on my sunny deck for a few minutes. I immediately felt the warmth through my soles. Then I stood on our pavers for a bit, progressing to grass to absorb the different textures. Did I immediately feel electrons zip through my body? I’m not sure, but I did feel more connected to Mother Earth, and it felt good. I could feel my mood lighten, and a more solid, relaxed presence filled my body.

Some of my friends tease me that I become a hermit during the colder months, and for someone who thrives when outdoors I do miss the solidarity of feeling the elements, hearing the birds, sensing the wind on my cheeks. I’d just rather do that in warmer seasons. So….what to do as the temperature dips and there’s no way I’ll go outside without wearing my Ugg knock-offs? Ways to ground indoors include sitting in the sun, taking a salt bath, picking up a rock and feeling it, and eating healthy foods.

In this high-paced, linked in world where we jump to a text’s chime, remember the raw power of connecting to nature. Try your own method of grounding, a way to recharge sans technology. Take a shoeless walk…a step good for your “sole.”

 

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy amidst the simple beauty of nature. ...I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.   

--Anne Frank

For the Rodale Wellness article:

http://www.rodalewellness.com/mind-spirit/forgotten-health-trick-you-need-do-150-minutes-week

Is This a New Age for Our Parents...or For Us?

When I think of New Age I immediately think of music: Enya, Yaz, Enigma... I don’t consider myself an expert in this genre, yet some of their CDs hide in a box somewhere in the basement. These beats and lyrical notes have an ethereal, philosophical, and relaxing vibe. As my Yanni Pandora station played the other day I thought of the term “new age,” and it made me think of my parents and in-laws as they enter their seventh decade…definitely a different era for them, a new age to embrace. Like the music, will it be relaxing? Seeming to belong to another world?

And why skip ahead to “Searching Seventy?” While our parents’ lives change, and not just they accepting getting older, it brings a dear truth for us cresting midlife…our own questions/different reality. For those with living parents, do you see them in a new age? How do you see them in a different light?

Without exposing my family’s details, I will say that I have seen a transformation unfold, and I’m learning how I hope to be in the future. I have witnessed a sense of a finite time remaining, a practical approach preparing for old age, and an increased sentimentality about life.

For me, though, I always attached these thoughts and feelings with my grandparents. I remember sitting in their sunny, small ranch. At the kitchen table, covered with a clear, plastic tablecloth, I waited for Grandmom to bring me “coffee”—warm milk with a splash of the real stuff, in a flowered cup and saucer. My Pop Pop would be sitting to my right, expertly carving off pear skin and slicing the fruit into pieces to share. At age 6, 11, 15, and 20, I’d be sitting in the same spot, they telling me how lucky I was to be young, that years go by so quickly. I would listen and conjure up images of their younger selves, and promise to remember their advice—and think, how lucky that I had so much time ahead.

But now it’s my parents and in-laws doing their version with my kids. And I blink—like it’s some time warp, or maybe it’s tears, because now I see them as I once saw my grandparents. And I selfishly wonder, is the most difficult part of my parents’ aging the knowing that I am only 28 years behind?

I love the Enigma song, “Return to Innocence,” but I haven’t heard it in years. When I googled it yesterday its video popped up on YouTube. Like fate was reading my mind, its video highlights older people and gives a sense of life’s love, purity, and simplicity…and finishes with time reversing, showing the characters as younger versions. A beautiful reminder that life is but a wave of moments and memories, and that in the end all of the craziness, drama, and stress will be forgotten…and those simple sentiments, like sharing a coffee and pear, those are what should stick. A reminder to think of older people with their younger souls intact. I wish for my parents and in-laws a return to those effortless virtues in this decade…for them and me.

 

If you'd like to view the Enigma “Return to Innocence” video:

Return to Innocence video