Third Down and What? Fearing 40

I’m a sucker for any sports movie. Pretty much any flick: Hoosiers, Major League, Angels in the Outfield, Cool Runnings, Rocky, you name it. I cheer for the underdog and get swept up in the energy unfolded by some achievement run, that unbridled love of team or sport, that wholehearted zeal created by strength, courage, and tenacity. I totally tear up and feel my adrenaline rise like I had just beaten Apollo Creed myself.

Sure, I’ve always loved competition and athletics, but if I wonder why these stories grip my heartstrings…maybe the core emotion is fear. That an athlete or a team can work so hard—yet there is a chance that they’ll swing and miss and not win. There’s a certain exuberance felt when the odds of losing collide with the possibility of the extreme victorious high. Listen to football fans cheer wildly when it’s third down and yards to go—such sizzling hollers from the stands.

Are we so afraid at our own 3^rd down, being 40? Lately I’ve talked with some of my friends, and the topic keeps surfacing. One recently said over a mug of coffee, “I’m scared of turning 40. I know all of these bad things that can happen.” We know it because at this point we have experienced miscarriages, death, children’s hospital overnights, and chronic diseases. What’s the next cancer we’ll hear about? Or the next “itis” diagnosis? The fears pile up—and not only along health lines, but of our kids’ hearts being broken, surviving alone after divorce, paying for college, finding a job after being laid off... the endless list exhausts us. I even hear that “having it too good” scares people, the ominous shadow lurking over our shoulders, waiting for something bad to happen.

Why focus on the fear now—does it inspire or tire you?

Some people may use fear as a catalyst for action, in others it paralyzes. We lose precious time and energy fearing the unknown—that I get. When it prevents us from living in the moment, we simply don’t. And that reduces our quality of living, our ability to connect and make lasting memories, to experience joy. Dr. Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly writes, “We’re not our best selves in fear.” Time to ignore the fear so we can be our best and live fully. And yes, I mean literally push out those negative thoughts. Replace them with positive ideas, with a list of blessings, happy reminiscences—whatever it takes to eliminate the panic and create calmness.

Apollo Creed told Rocky, “You know, Stallion? It’s too bad we’ve got to get old.” That may be true, but Creed found the fight in himself to be brave. It’s inevitable we all age. Since we don’t know how many rounds we’ll fight, innings to play, or yards to our personal end zone, to me, it’s futile to let anxieties take root. Because what we fear—life’s worst imaginings—do happen. In no way can we ever prepare enough or pretend to know how it will feel when the ball drops. When it does we will have to act anyway. Instead of worrying find the inner strength to turn your back to the fears chasing you. Whatever works—find your peace, courage, faith, and trust.