My kids love pepperoni roll—an easy dinner of gooey
goodness. Last year when the kids helped me make it one of my cuties observed, “The
pizza dough looks just like your belly, Mom.” And indeed it did. Instead of gushing
about how it’s a badge of motherhood—(I’ve never liked espousing that), or
making excuses for my stretch marks, I just laughed and said, “Yup, you’re
right.” Because the kid was spot on.
But it’s not just post-baby body changes. Before I turned
40 one of my girlfriends warned me that everything I knew about my body was
about to dramatically transform--fluctuating hormones, a sluggish metabolism,
thinning hair, and practically non-existent eyelashes, to name a few. Having a
mole biopsied in June woke me up to realize that yes, times are a-changing, and
I started regretting my teenage Banana Boat Ultimate Tanning lotion years.
Middle-aged women, how do we see ourselves? And how is our
self-reflection mirroring to others?
For the first time in my life serious conversations of Botox
and at what age for your first chemical peel swirl around coffee chats. And
then I think, who has the time to really deliberate which night cream is the
most productive to reverse signs of aging? I do get my hair highlighted—am I just
contributing to some societal standard? I read Good Housekeeping yesterday, and 8 of the first 9 advertisements promote
products to make me look younger; hence, healthier and more vibrant.
So, no surprise, plastic surgery and Botox are on the
rise. From 2011-2012 cosmetic procedures grew 6% for 40-54 year-olds.* For a broader perspective-- since 1997 the
number of cosmetic procedures for women increased over 471%. That constitutes $11 billion on cosmetic procedures in 2012 in
America.**
If this generation is more educated, has gained broader experiences, has
broken through glass ceilings, why are we striving for a body ideal more so
than our mothers’ generation?
When I was a first-year in undergrad Naomi Wolf spoke to
a chapel filled with eager, on the brink of their own feminist thoughts women. To
be honest, at that age I half-listened to her warnings of how society’s high
standards of beauty were worsening. I had youthful skin, no children, and I
wasn’t really “out in society” feeling pressures yet. But now I realize how her
warnings have manifested.
More recently the Dove Self-Esteem Project warns that the
negative language we use to talk about our bodies, and when critiquing other women,
harms our youth’s self-confidence leading to unhealthy eating and exercise
habits—even to anorexia and bulimia. And to add stress, Dana Hunsinger Benbow in a
USA Today article states that “It's not the media or skinny, out-of-proportion
Barbie dolls or even peer pressure that is the No. 1 cause of body issues for
young girls. It's their mothers.”
Yikes.
Listen—I’m not judging. More
wondering and observing. Is it worth it? In this next decade will we
be more alert to our appearances—more than ever? And what is the ripple effect
of these ubiquitous body enhancements on the next generation?
I have no answers—this is
a conversation—but for now, I “knead” to simply roll, (with pepperoni), and hopefully
be as real, honest, and accepting about the many physical changes ahead. It
certainly is a lot to digest.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/08/23/moms-daughters-influence-body-image/2690921/
“You could see the
signs of female aging as diseased, especially if you had a vested interest in
making women, too see them your way. Or you could see that a woman is healthy
if she lives to grow old; as she thrives, she reacts and speaks and shows
emotion, and grows into her face.”
Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth
* American Society of Plastic Surgeons http://www.plasticsurgery.org/Documents/news-resources/statistics/2012-Plastic-Surgery-Statistics/full-plastic-surgery-statistics-report.pdf
**
American Society for
Aesthetic Plastic Surgery http://www.surgery.org/sites/default/files/ASAPS-2012-Stats.pdf
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/08/23/moms-daughters-influence-body-image/2690921/
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