How Do You Scratch a 7 Year Itch?

On average a person stays at their job for 4.4 years, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And Millennials stay in a job for less than three years.*

So it’s no wonder that this year I’m starting to scratch. Getting itchy. My primary job, being a mother of four for the last 7 years, has caused a prickly feeling to creep up my spine. I love my kids with all of my heart. But it’s just that sometimes I want something different, a break from the daily grind of food shopping, laundry, and being the logistical leader of this family. I admit to wishing the time away for my youngest to start elementary school, (I can practically hear the gasps from my friends whose kids are in college). I may sound like an insensitive, unloving mother, but isn’t it only natural for an all-consuming job to wear you down?

I’m not the first person to feel this way. The “seven-year itch” is a psychological term suggesting that happiness in a relationship declines after year seven of marriage. So, maybe my job satisfaction level is just petering with parenthood. 

Last weekend my husband and I watched the 1955 movie, The Seven Year Itch, which shows how a faithful publishing executive, Richard Sherman, fantasizes about cheating with his new upstairs neighbor played by Marilyn Monroe. The two form an unlikely friendship—he being optimistic that romantic feelings are brewing, and she more seeking his air conditioning during a hot Manhattan summer.  It turns out that guilt runs Richard to his wife and kid who are summering in Maine.

But I can’t just run away from the mundane motherhood monotony by fleeing to Kennebunkport.

Who else has caught themselves in a cycle of dissatisfaction—in any situation? When there’s little hope of relief? How do you scratch your itch?

Four years ago I had the worst case of poison ivy. Oozing, hideous scabs covered my body, and all I wanted to do was scratch. The only way I found episodic relief? I scalded myself in the shower—tricking my skin to not feel the rash, but instead to feel the burn. Temporary, but still blissful.

During challenging, strenuous times like in my current full-time job, we need to find those retreats to recharge. And not feel guilty about doing so. Sabbaticals for teachers—and now in some businesses—were invented for a reason. Note: “sabbatical” is derived from the word “sabbath,” for rest—a luxury often missing for mothers. Along with time off we need the support to do so. We need a medium to escape the tedium.

This motherhood job is a permanent one—and is no fantasy like Richard Sherman’s whimsical daydreams. Anyone in the trenches can relate. His imagination takes him elsewhere…leading ultimately back to his family. Maybe, just like with the poison ivy, what is needed is a few showers of relief—to take me away---only to be returned to my little blessings, but with my irritation healed and me feeling less stressed. 

 

*”Job Hopping is the ‘New Normal’ for Millennials: Three Ways to Prevent a Human Resource Nightmare” –Forbes 8/14/12 http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeannemeister/2012/08/14/job-hopping-is-the-new-normal-for-millennials-three-ways-to-prevent-a-human-resource-nightmare/