Be a Mean Girl

I haven’t written a post in awhile. For many reasons. One being that dear friends have been caretaking their 12 year-old daughter, first bedside in a children’s hospital’s cardiac ICU, and now at home.

Who am I to ponder questions of getting older when a young girl fights for her life with her family soldiering alongside? When my friends live in a separate reality that most never witness? Seems rather indulgent of me.

When kids get sick and face life-threatening illnesses...most sane people with a heart question why. How could “this” happen to a child and his or her family? People will tsk, shake their heads, some say a silent prayer, and hope to dear life for faith and healing. And shudder at the thought of going through a daunting hell.

Back in July my beautiful friend looked at me with pleading eyes when I asked how they are all doing. She responded, “I really hope there’s meaning in all of this. That being sick has brought meaning to people—either bringing the community closer together or something else powerful.”

I can’t speak for everyone who’s been affected by a sick child, but I can attest how much this family and strong girl have impacted me. Here are my observations:

·         A parent’s powerful love for a child is limitless. And when tested that strength grows in unbounded ways.

·         People’s perspectives do shift. They are touched and reminded of life’s fragility and importance.

·         Generosity abounds. I have seen how people respond, being awed by anonymous monetary donations, people giving of their time, and many reminders of constant thoughtfulness.

·         Faith stands out as a core to survival. Faith in family, in friends, in medicine, in miracles, in a higher power, in a mysterious, ever-changing life flow.

·         Children should not be underestimated. By their resilience, their compassion, and their ability to still be kids despite challenging circumstances.

They have showed me the importance of gratitude and taking the time to pause and reflect.

Appreciating meaning makes life more substantial, true. But you don’t have to witness a life-threatening illness to bring more meaning to your life—and to others. I suggest striving to be a “mean” girl…or man. I’m not saying to take a tip from Tina Fey’s 2004 hit movie, Mean Girls, but rather to stop and think whether you live with purpose towards the people you value. That if suddenly you were absent, would it matter? Would you be missed?

Don’t miss out on real relationships, true connections. Be mean…ingful. As American spiritual essayist Thomas Merton wrote, “We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.”

Not only seek meaning from challenging, heart-gripping situations like when a community rallies around a family with a sick child, but continue to look for truths in everyday circumstances…and look within to make a difference in someone else’s life. Be significant. Be faithful. Simply be there.