What is Your Acceptance Rate?

Like many parents of high school teenagers the inevitable college search hits home. My oldest is a junior, so for Christmas she received the Princeton Review tome that catalogs schools, including brief descriptions and data. One startling statistic is the acceptance rate…especially how low it can be for some schools. Which, during the pre-application process, makes you wonder…am I good enough to get in? What are they looking for? What I’m observing this year as a parent of a 16 year-old—is that this post-high school search should be an evaluation process for these soon-to-be adults: an honest reflection of character, goals, aptitude, drive, and values. I wish all teenagers would go through this important awareness discovery.

What I’ve also seen this year amidst a back-drop of history-making statistics and trends: a divisive nation ripped by racism, threats to our democracy, elected leaders stifling voter access, and still the undercurrent of a global pandemic with opinions, science, and blustery shouts of freedom from masks and mandates…so one cannot avoid the questions of: in life, what do YOU accept? What matters most to you? And how will your values affect relationships and choices?

I fully realize that people have their own perspectives, education, and experiences that color their judgments and decisions…and that a spectrum of beliefs should exist in a diverse country such as ours. But are there some things you just can’t accept?

I know I have personally wrestled with these questions, especially as I’ve seen relationships wither to the point of non-existence. While these losses make me sad, I often think of the alternatives…more stress? Conflict? Toxicity? Abuse?

It’s like we all could have internal personal metrics, similar to college statistics, that define our souls. We might be more flexible on some issues…and then there might be those that are game-stopping, jaw-dropping, where compromise is not an option. For example, what is your acceptance rate of parking in a handicap space without that license plate? Being lied to by a friend? Someone insulting another in your presence? Being cheated on by your spouse? Companies contributing to environmental pollution? Blatant and even non-overt racism?

Some people scoff at the cancel culture mentality sweeping our country. But I wonder if it’s so bad to erase and abandon offensive things and people. Some triggers and actions teetering on the brink of abuse and downright immorality and inhumanity—seem justifiable to reject. Without accountability, how will people, relationships, communities, a nation—mend?

What remains a question is how to heal and move on—both personally and on larger scales. Part of this life journey may not be about what we’re looking for (as in a college), but rather what we see by looking inward. By examining our individual acceptance rates we can then find comfort in knowing one’s true self…which will then translate into actions and interactions with the world. Maybe by thinking about where we stand on issues we can feel grounded in our life decisions. 

Should it be “rejection rates” instead?