Friday, November 6, 2015

Is This a New Age for Our Parents...or For Us?


When I think of New Age I immediately think of music: Enya, Yaz, Enigma... I don’t consider myself an expert in this genre, yet some of their CDs hide in a box somewhere in the basement. These beats and lyrical notes have an ethereal, philosophical, and relaxing vibe. As my Yanni Pandora station played the other day I thought of the term “new age,” and it made me think of my parents and in-laws as they enter their seventh decade…definitely a different era for them, a new age to embrace. Like the music, will it be relaxing? Seeming to belong to another world?

And why skip ahead to “Searching Seventy?” While our parents’ lives change, and not just they accepting getting older, it brings a dear truth for us cresting midlife…our own questions/different reality. For those with living parents, do you see them in a new age? How do you see them in a different light?

Without exposing my family’s details, I will say that I have seen a transformation unfold, and I’m learning how I hope to be in the future. I have witnessed a sense of a finite time remaining, a practical approach preparing for old age, and an increased sentimentality about life.

For me, though, I always attached these thoughts and feelings with my grandparents. I remember sitting in their sunny, small ranch. At the kitchen table, covered with a clear, plastic tablecloth, I waited for Grandmom to bring me “coffee”—warm milk with a splash of the real stuff, in a flowered cup and saucer. My Pop Pop would be sitting to my right, expertly carving off pear skin and slicing the fruit into pieces to share. At age 6, 11, 15, and 20, I’d be sitting in the same spot, they telling me how lucky I was to be young, that years go by so quickly. I would listen and conjure up images of their younger selves, and promise to remember their advice—and think, how lucky that I had so much time ahead.

But now it’s my parents and in-laws doing their version with my kids. And I blink—like it’s some time warp, or maybe it’s tears, because now I see them as I once saw my grandparents. And I selfishly wonder, is the most difficult part of my parents’ aging the knowing that I am only 28 years behind?

I love the Enigma song, “Return to Innocence,” but I haven’t heard it in years. When I googled it yesterday its video popped up on YouTube. Like fate was reading my mind, its video highlights older people and gives a sense of life’s love, purity, and simplicity…and finishes with time reversing, showing the characters as younger versions. A beautiful reminder that life is but a wave of moments and memories, and that in the end all of the craziness, drama, and stress will be forgotten…and those simple sentiments, like sharing a coffee and pear, those are what should stick. A reminder to think of older people with their younger souls intact. I wish for my parents and in-laws a return to those effortless virtues in this decade…for them and me.

 

If you'd like to view the Enigma “Return to Innocence” video:

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