Does Distrust Lead To Pot Holes in your Heart?

Welcome to that time of year—when we all play the reality driving game of swerving around the many pot holes peppering most roads. I try my best to avoid them and wonder when they will be fixed.

Last Friday I maneuvered around the countless chasms and drove to a business lecture taught by a communication expert. The man provided case studies of organizations facing crises—and how they responded. The companies that broke their consumers’ trust by miscommunicating and mishandling situations had to spend countless dollars and time to fix what happened. The speaker stressed how difficult it is for companies to rebuild trust—and sometimes even after much expended energy brands ultimately could not reconstruct their images and customer relationships, thus going bankrupt and failing.

I thought to myself—there’s a blog post here that transcends the business marketplace.

After the recent harrowing killing spree of innocent lives in Parkland, FL I again became blue and disenfranchised with our government. As a mother I cried for those victims—and for the parents and survivors whose lives will forever be changed. I felt our government let down its citizens again—and I feel distrust with elected officials who protect their pockets vs. people. While by nature I’m an optimistic, trusting person it’s going to take some action to rebuild my belief in elected politicians.

The same feeling can be applied to relationships in life. 

Have you had relationships/friendships fail because you lost trust in someone?

At this point in our lives I’d be shocked if most people haven’t lost someone because trust shattered. Just like potholes aren’t created overnight, often relationships slowly wear down, leaving them damaged. When one is dishonest, inconsistent, and perhaps even betrays another, a bond ruptures. A definite line is drawn. It could be a protective barrier, a boundary created. It could be a desire to not just not deal anymore. Because you’re tired of being hurt and let down. And you think--there are too many trustworthy people to devote your time to—I’m just going to swerve around this emotional pothole. But that doesn’t mean you should avoid forgiveness.

Does forgiving come easier as we get older? In some ways with a greater perspective and broader experiences, yes, I think it’s easier to forgive now than when we were younger. As Maya Angelou has said, “It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.” And then she goes on to say that it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to invite them to your table.

Like misguided businesses in crisis that break their consumers’ trust, governments that make decisions based on campaign dollars versus common sense, people in our lives can also break trust. Rebuilding that genuine, mutual trust is not as easy as patching it up with asphalt. If you find yourself on a path with dicey holes, carefully swerve to avoid a flat, offer up some forgiveness, and most importantly—trust yourself, your own instincts and move forward with confidence and caution.